So… I wasn’t expecting to use this blog again. I had something specific I wanted to get off
my chest, I got it off my chest, I was done.
But then something happened.
Something… wonderous.
On Friday I received a note
in the post to my place of work letting me know a letter had been sent to me
without the correct postage and I needed to pay the difference, plus £1 costs. Assuming, it was work related (as unpaid
things usually are) I went to the post office to pay the extra and collect
it.
It was addressed to me. Not the company I work for, not “The Manager”
and on the envelope I am described as a “Very Helpful Assistant”. This is someone who has met (and presumably
talked to) me. Assuming it was going to
be a complimentary letter of some kind, and needing the adoration of others to
make my life complete, I paid the £1.46 postage cost and gratefully took my
letter.
Things worth noting at this
point:
·
It’s addressed to me personally
·
I’m described as a “very helpful assistant”
·
There is only 11p worth of postage on it and as such
it’s cost me £1.46 to collect.
Nothing costs 11p to
post. That should have been my first
clue something wasn’t right. Someone had
intentionally (or, giving some leeway, accidentally) put the wrong postage on
the envelope, forcing me to go down and pay to receive it. Someone had taken time with this.
Inside, I found this:
Honestly I’m at a loss of
where to begin. Is it supposed to be
informative? Is it bullying? Is it random chance? I’m just… lost. It’s beautiful, I can say that much. I tried googling everything I could think of,
but I couldn’t find any trace of this image on the internet. I doubt someone made it specifically for me
(it’s printed out), but it makes me feel special that I’m not just getting some
cheap internet knock-off propaganda.
Unsure where to begin, I
suppose the best idea is to address its two main sections. Firstly
Absolutely true. Genesis
1:27 teaches us that on the sixth day of creation, after creating the animals
and the plants and the sun and the moon and all that other good stuff God said
“Let us creates mankind in our own image.”
So it absolutely does teach us that.
Glad my £1.46 got me something factually accurate. We’ll skip over the fact that God must have
been talking to someone so there’s probably a little non-God thrown into
mankind for good measure. Maybe if we
could prove he was talking to some chimps it would explain everything. Then in Genesis 2:7 God, for
some inexplicable reason, travels back in time a couple of days to before he
created the plants and the rain and all the good stuff, and creates mankind all
over again. For a second time. Little weird, but they are right that the
Bible definitely takes great pains to teach us God created mankind. His time travelling antics also predate The Time Machine by almost
8000 years. Take that H.G. Wells!
Things get a little less
clear with their second point though:
I’m guessing they don’t mean
a close relative. They’re not implying
my son or my father is a chimp. So I
figure the question they’re really asking is could this chimp be a genetic
relative of the human race? To which the
answer is a resounding yes. I mean, look
at him, he’s dapper gentleman, cutting a dashing figure in his suit and
tie! Not being able to see his right
hand I’m assuming he’s holding some kind of briefcase containing important
business documents for the day. That guy
could absolutely be my genetic relative and I would hope he remembers that
before his ponzi scheme collapses, he loses his fortune and flees to a
non-extradition country.
My guess is they’re not
trying to make that point though. I
assume they’re trying to disprove evolution, but the mistake they’ve made is
picking our closest relative. They’d be
better picking something a bit more obscure.
I’ve taken the liberty of googling a few alternative options:
Maybe the real mistake is
putting them in clothes.
Or even just:
Any of these pictures would
make their point better. I mean isn’t it
ludicrous that, millions of years ago, we shared a common ancestor with
grass?
Chimps seems a little more
believable now doesn’t it?
I’m not really sure what to
do with my letter. More than anything
I want to know who sent it so I can talk to them.
To let them know that it failed in whatever it was meant to
achieve (Unless it's purpose was to provoke this blog, in which case, you're welcome).
It fails as a piece of intelligent
design propaganda (if that is what it’s intended to be) and also fails as one
for evolution. It failed to engage me in
its message or sway my feelings at all, and if Marshall McLuhan is correct and
the medium is the message, it’s peculiar hand-made aesthetic failed too.
I think the worst thing is, if they’d spoken to me instead of
wasting Royal Mail’s time and my money, I could (and would) have helped them
form a more coherent argument for their cause.
Evolution doesn’t give all the answers, there are some things we really don't understand yet, but a poorly coloured chimp and a
bible verse isn’t the way to argue against it (there's a case to be made that cutting and pasting from google doesn't do much good either).
If nothing else I could have directed them to a better chimp picture:
As last time, I wanted to finish on a West Wing quote. Because if there’s anything a blog like this
needs, it’s a hook for the readers, so West Wing quotes it is. But the one I liked most doesn’t quite fit, so I’m going to
skew my topic somewhat, and bring it back to my last blog’s topic of education.
Noah’s Ark Zoo Farm in Bristol is a
creationist zoo which has achieved the incredible double whammy of “undermining
education of both intelligent design and religion” (I know this because Wikipedia
told me so). Schools actually take their
children to this place. It’s too far
away for my son to go there, but other people’s children could be sent under
the mistaken belief that it’s somehow educational. I would like this to not happen, and the best
way to make that a reality is to keep the schools informed:
And now, as you’ve all been waiting for, and in the words of
President-Elect Santos:
"I think it would be fairly difficult to teach geology,
anthropology and zoology without evolution... Intelligent Design is not a
scientific theory. It's a religious belief and our constitution does not allow
for the teaching of religion in our public schools... Evolution is not perfect,
It doesn't answer every question but it is based on scientific facts. Facts
that can be predicted, tested and proven. Intelligent Design asks theological
questions... can't we agree that the inclusion of non-scientific explanations
into the science curriculum of our schools misrepresents the nature of science
and therefore compromises the central purpose of our public education which is
the preparation of a scientifically literate work force?"
A scientifically literate workforce. Every father’s dream.
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